Posted by Goldeneyed presents... on April 16, 2001 at 17:02:01:
Oh no! I'm writing a story! It's been a while since that's happened, hasn't it? Well, until I jump-start The Semi-Amazing Goldeneyed, check out this funky one-shot special (even if your doctor wouldn't recommend it...)
'Twas the day after Easter, and all through the Lair; not a creature was stirring, not even Flapjack going through Troia's underwear...
Until, of course, Yo came bounding in from apparently nowhere, disrupting Fin Fang Foom's silent vigil in front of the "crime monitors".
"Oh, happiest of days, cute Finny-man!"
Foom turned his head towards Yo, one eye remaining on the screens. "What was that?"
"Why, you do not know of which day it is being, funny Finny? Today is a most special day! For today is..."
BUNNY DAY
by Goldeneyed
So, let me get this straight, Yo..." Goldeneyed begins, gathered with Yo, Exile, Nats, Trickshot, Fin Fang Foom, Ziles, Hatman, Sorceress, and CrazySugarFreakBoy! in the living room of Lair Mansion. "The day after Easter Sunday is celebrated as 'Bunny Day' in the Happy Place, a holiday where the Fuzziest of Bunnies visits everyone's homes to see who gathered the most eggs over the past day and gives the best collector a reward?"
"Yes yes, this is what Bunny Day is about!" Yo exclaims, bouncing on the spot in the sheer excitement of it all.
"And you want us 'ta help you get more eggs together before this big rabbit shows up, huh?" asks Trickshot from his place between Ziles and Sorceress on the couch.
"Yo would be most happiest if you would help Yo!"
The Dark Knight makes his presence known from the hallway. "I would like to remind you all that we are still superheroes, and our time would be better spent doing our jobs. Keep this in mind."
Yo's spirits sink a little, but the next s/he knew, the Dark Knight was gone.
Sorceress puts her arm around Hatman's waist and leans towards Yo a little. "Jay and I would be glad to help."
Jay looks at Sorceress with some bewilderment, and is met with a glance that is procovative and stern at the same time. Jay swallows and nods to Yo.
Goldeneyed smiles. "Sure, I'll help! Teleporting could come in handy for this..."
Exile sneers at Bry from across the room. "There's no way you can out-egg-hunt me, cuz."
"Hey, a challenge! This is gonna be awesome! How about we split into two teams, like the Blue and Gold teams back in the late '80s to early '90's X-Men?" CrazySugarFreakBoy! chimes in.
"Have you all lost your minds!?" Finny roars. "In case you haven't noticed, it's the day after Easter! Who's gonna take care of the big post-Eater crime rush if we're busy looking for a bunch of eggs!?"
The room falls silent.
And then, Exile falls over laughing.
"Fine... you all want to have an Easter Egg hunt, do you? Have fun. But Trickshot, Ziles, and Nats are staying here in case something comes up. Trickshot and Ziles can spend the rest of the morning in training. Nats, you're on Monitors."
Trickshot takes this as a cue to leave the room. Ziles shrugs and follows, leaving Nats behind to face the dragon's glare.
"But... But I wanna go..." Nats pleads.
Smoke comes out of Finny's nostrils.
"Monitor duty it is!" Nats gulps as he runs as fast as his legs will take him.
Foom looks back at the remaining Legionnaires. "I expect you all to carry your Lair Legion Communicards. If we need your help, you'd better be there right away. Got it?"
Hatman nods for everyone.
Finny turns to the hall and stomps his way to his office.
"So, uh... Where exactly do we find the eggs, Yo?" Goldeneyed asks.
"Anywhere there is being eggs, cute G-Eyed!" Yo cheerfully responds.
Hatman shakes his head a little. "I don't get it... The only place we'll find eggs are in people's fridges and the supermarket..."
"Then that is where we will be finding them!"
Hatman sighs. "But that's stealing..."
Yo laughs. "It is not stealing when it is being Bunny Day, funny Hatman!"
Sorceress puts a hand on Yo's shoulder. "Yeah, but how many people celebrate Bunny Day here on Earth?"
Yo's face turns serious. "The words you are speaking are being very true, Sorcy-friend. We will just having to be looking for eggs in the Mansion, then!"
Exile blasts off, calling out "I've got dibs on the kitchen!"
Goldeneyed teleports away, saying "I'll take a look in the pantry."
CrazySugarFreakBoy! races up the stairs, calling "I'll check Troia's room!"
Yo turns to Hatman and Sorceress. "Will you two then be helping me to be search in the League of Regulars' catles in Ausgard?"
Hatman quickly nods. "Yeah... Anything to be away from here when Finny catches those three..."
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The scene: Lair Mansion. The kitchen.
"Only two dozen eggs in the fridge? Aw, gimme a break." Exile complains to himself. He leans against the counter and thinks about where he could find more eggs in the house.
Then, it hits him.
"I guess it's cheating, but what the heck..."
There is a red flash, and a large sack full of eggs appears in front of Exile, courtesy of his power to manipulate Interdimensional Enegry.
"Sure, they're not real eggs, but nobody's gonna know the difference..."
Scene: Lair Mansion basement. The pantry.
"Hmm, I've never actually been down to the pantry before... I wish I knew where to look." Goldeneyed wonders aloud as he scours the many aisles of the big room.
"Hmm... There seems to be an awful lot of Kool Whip in the back, there. Why can't I find any eggs?"
Naturally, at that exact moment, he walks right into them.
"Ow... Where'd that fridge come from...? Wait a second. Eggs!" Goldeneyed exclaims as he grabs hold of a carton.
"Whoo... Acording to this, these eggs all expired in 1998! Who's in charge of stocking this place, anyway?"
Goldeneyed thinks for a moment. "Eggs are eggs, I guess... Who's going to notice that they're old ones?"
The scene: Lair Mansion. Troia's room.
*THWACK!!!*
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Visionary sits at his Official League of Regulars Leader's Desk, tongue poking out of his mouth, absorbed in trying to solve the immortal puzzle of the Rubik's Cube.
"Happiest of Bunny Days to you, cute Visionary-man!!!"
Visionary jumps up and falls over the back of his chair.
Hatman snickers as Visionary peers over his desk.
"Uh... Hi there."
Yo bounds on top of Visionary's desk. "We are to be looking for eggs to gather up and have to be ours before the Fuzziest of Bunnies comes to see how many we have gotten!"
Visionary nods. "Okay."
"Can we be to using what is available from the castle, leader-friend?" Yo excitedly asks.
Visionary nods. "Okay."
"Thanks be to you, cute Visionary!" Yo says as s/he bounces out of the room, Hatman and Sorceress casually following.
Visionary just looks forward for a few moments. "Where's my Rubik's Cube?"
Yo runs past Lisa and NYU-150 and darts into the kitchen. Yo swings the fridge door open and giggles with glee as s'he sees the entire first shelf is stacked with cartons of eggs.
"Oh boy! This is being the best Bunny Day ever!"
Yo is joined by Hatman (in his Flash cap) a moment after. "Me and Whit found some more in Visionary's room, Yo!"
Yo smiles while gathering up the eggs from the fridge. "Yo will be there in the snap of an eye!"
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Twenty minutes later, at Lair Mansion.
Yo stands over the pile of eggs retrieved from the Regulars' castle. Hatman and Sorceress snuggle on the couch, waiting for the rest to report back.
CrazySugarFreakBoy! shows up with a plastic carton full of deviled eggs.
Hatman raises an eyebrow. "You found those in Troia's room...?"
CrazySugarFreakBoy! looks up, revealing a black eye. "Uh, well, not exactly. I had to go buy these ones at the store..."
Yo puts the carton on the floor and gives CSFB! a really big hug. "You are now being the greatest ever, cute CrazySugarFuzzyFriend!"
At that moment, Goldeneyed walks in with a tightly closed box. "That's all there is from the pantry, Yo!"
"That's all!?" Exile asks smugly as he walks in with his large sack filled with not-so-real eggs. "Look at my haul, chump!"
Goldeneyed's jaw drops. "There's no way you got all that from the kitchen...!"
Exile tosses the sack on top of Goldeneyed's box. "Some of us just have a knack for these things, man."
Yo gives Goldeneyed and Exile the "shush" symbol. "If we are to be getting a visit from the Fuzziest of Bunnies, we are to having to be nice and quiet..."
Exile sort of rolls his eyes and plops down on the armchair. "Wonder what's on TV..."
There is a bright purple glow in the middle of the room, and a giant white bunny with yellow and purple polka-dots appears behind the pile of eggs. CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Hatman and Sorceress share an equal amount of shock in both their faces. Goldeneyed looks down to Yo and smiles back at the giant rabbit. Exile faints.
"Congratulations to you, Yo... You have been collecting the most of eggs anywhere I have been seeing." The Fuzziest of Bunnies says. "Your prize for this Bunny Day is most well-earned!"
With that, the Fuzziest of Bunnies disappears, leaving a small bunny-shaped whistle on the floor.
The Fuzziest of Bunnies' voice echoes though the room. "Whenever you are wanting to spread more bunny joy, just play this whistle and many cute bunnies will come to make your day all the more cute and happy..."
Yo picks up the little pink whistle and turns to face his/her friends. "Yo is to be thinking you all so much for making Yo's Bunny Day wishes come true! You are all my special cute friends!"
Suddenly, due to Exile's lack of consciousness (and thus, concentration) his large sack of eggs transforms into a grand piano, crushing the box of rotten eggs.
"Oh, gawd...! That smell...!" Hatman coughs.
Fin Fang Foom picks that moment to walk into the living room...
Instead of getting into those events, let's just say Exile and Goldeneyed will have their fair share of monitor duty for the next six months, shall we? :o)
THE END
Visionary strolls into the kitchen late that night, a copy of the Guinness Book of World Records in his hand. "Now we'll see who's the maker of the world's biggest omelete..."
He opens the fridge door. "Hmm. No eggs. Lucky for me, I've got my secret egg stash in my top-secret hiding place!"
Visionary slinks back to his bedroom and looks under the bed. "Hmm. No eggs. I guess I'll never break this record..."
With that, the leader of the League of Regulars goes to bed.